THAT”S JUST PLAIN STUPID!

 

          I might have mentioned at some point, that I was getting a new – make that a different – car.  It’s a Kia and I’m liking it just fine. 

IN honor of this occasion, I have decided that I will hone my driving skills in order to guard against all those strange bumps and bruises that seem to appear almost magically once the car belongs to you.

         Among friends who have ridden with me, I am not noted for my patience.  I don’t like to be challenged on the road and am a bit quick to take offense.

I swore to myself that this time would be different. 

This time I would remain calm and controlled and avoid  aggressive drivers who, like me, react badly to real or imagined challenges of the road.. 

This time I would observe all the rules…use the turn indicator as needed, observe the speed limits whenever possible, stuff like that.

         Then I ran afoul of the law about  keeping one car length between you and the car ahead of you for every 10 MPH you are traveling..

         Really? 

Have you ever tried to do that on a freeway when all the cars are doing 70 or more MPH and jockeying for space?

I tried.  I really tried, but all I succeeded in doing was reinforcing something I (subliminally) already knew.

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE! 

Every single time I slowed down to allow the car in front of me to reach the proper distance of at least six car-lengths ahead, seven drivers from on either side of me, would speed up and jockey to fill the room.  Most of them seemed to be swearing at me for one reason or another.

I studied the problem from many angles.

Perhaps, if I just kept a steady 65 MPH this thing would automatically work itself out.  It didn’t.  It DID manage to infuriate other drivers who wanted to be doing 75.

Perhaps if I adjusted my speed and went a bit more slowly…but no, those others drivers seemed to resent that at least as much as the steady pace.

Then, rather unexpectedly the other day, the pace slowed.  With no visible cause, we were all coasting at about 20 MPH.  Then 10 – and then…no miles at all.

There was no explanation available.  I checked the radio but they didn’t’ seem to know yet that the 101 was in crisis. 

So we sat.

Suddenly the irate drivers who’d been so hell bent on getting to the head of the non existent line were glancing around making questioning gestures, throwing up their hands in mock despair. 

But friendly. 

We were all in it together.

Until we weren’t.

Just as suddenly as it stopped, the mass began to move again.

I tried waiting until the car ahead of me got a six car start.

Again, all the once friendly co-captives began blasting their horns and sweeping past me, obviously mouthing words I didn’t want to hear.

So I gave up.  It is my considered, and reasoned opinion, that the only way to obey that law is by backing up.  And, while I didn’t consult their damn book, I bet that’s against some law too!

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I’ve got a new word for the month.  I don’t remember ever even seeing this word let alone using it in a sentence.  It’s LOUCHE. 

I came across it yesterday while reading AT HOME  A Short History of Private Life by Bill Bryson, and, according to my dictionary it means disreputable or of doubtful morality.

You’re welcome.

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