There are so many issues these days.  Almost any subject I decide to write about carries with it the threat of making someone very angry. 

       Example: I was introduced to a new doctor a while back.  She was thoughtful and kind and spoke with a bit of an accent.  She listened well and explained even better.  After about an hour, where I felt very at ease, I finally ask her about the accent – beautiful lilting tone I didn’t recognize it.

       “WHY?” she flared.

The word came out quiet and cold. It was more accusation than question.

       “Why do you need to know where I come from?”

       I was startled and confused.

       “You are a beautiful young doctor and I found the accent soothing.  So I asked,” I said.”  “I have a grand daughter who has just become a doctor and I am now really interested…”

       “So is she from India?”

       I honestly couldn’t think of an answer that sounded safe or sane.

       We ended the meeting quickly and I never went back…I even changed my insurance so I wouldn’t meet her again.

       And yet I keep reading about how it is not enough to have friends of all kinds of accents or colors or… pick your own adjective. We need to listen and learn.  I’m game, but mightily puzzled.  Listen, learn, but never show any interest in all the fascinating things that come with new friends or colleagues? How does that work?

       So…this is a rather long introduction to today’s blog on a subject I’m hoping will not find many – if any – opponents.

WHY DOES LIPSTICK STICK TO  EVERYTHING BUT LIPS?

       Seriously.  Have you ever tried to get lipstick off a white skirt?   Or your fingers?  Right.  It is madding adhesive.

OR…Have you ever watched a mystery movie where one of the big clues is the smudge of lipstick on a martini glass left by a careless murderer in the room of non-drinker?

       “Aha!  He had a guest, and the guest was a woman.” says the quick witted detective who obviously DOES watch murder mysteries.  Or, possibly, has no gay friends.

       Forget that last line.  I’ve got wonderful gay friends and they all know better than to leave lipstick smudges -or commit a clumsy murder. 

What is the longest time you’ve had lipstick stay  on your lips.  Two hours?  Give me the brand name…I’ll try it. I am told that really long lasting colors exist, but the dye required to ensure it is – uh – is there a non-threatening word for poison?

I DID, at one time, care enough about long lasting lipstick to try, at the urging of a well meaning friend, TATTOOING.  A very hip (in my world) friend told me of a friend of hers who did wonderful work and could give me an (almost) permanently red mouth. I allowed myself to be talked into it, and the good friend did a beautiful job –  It wasn’t expensive…if you didn’t figure in the cost of an hour and a half of a needle going in and out of your lips…and it was ALMOST perfect…except for the spot where the needle slipped and made a nasty little scar above the lip line.

And 30 years or so later, what have I got? A faded tattoo and a permanent scar. 

Sounds like the title of a sad song.

A sad song that is sure to offend someone